“We disappoint, we disappear, we die but we don’t.”
These words of Sondheim’s are really hitting me at the moment. I have been a disappointment to some people, I know, and in some cases I hurt because of that. I especially hate it when it was unintentional but seen as intentional. I wonder about why a person would think I’d be deliberately hurtful. Is that what the person thinks of me? It’s a curious thing.
Meanwhile I feel as if I am just hanging on … the world doesn’t feel safe. I still believe God is good (if I didn’t I wouldn’t want to believe in God, really!), but God is also puzzling. Rotten things are happening, both little rotten and Big Rotten. I don’t feel safe posting on Facebook any longer: flowers and music yes, but no more thoughts, no more (frequently misunderstood) words, no more links to anything controversial. I’m just in too vulnerable a state right now.